What? Another one?
Attention, filmmakers!
Two years ago every single one of you spurned my invitation to make a film adaptation of my debut novel, Maximilian and Carlotta Are Dead. Every. Single. One. Of. You.
What was the problem? Too challenging to work out the logistics of filming a movie mostly about three guys driving along in a car? Afraid your technical skills would not rise to the level of the knockout source material? Worried about fitting such a long title on a marquee? Ha! The joke’s on you. There would have been no marquee. Your movie would have definitely gone direct-to-video. And anyway, I would have been amenable to shortening the title of the film version. Maybe not Max & Carly as I sometimes shorten it myself. But maybe Max & Carly: RIP. Or something more obviously connected to the actual story, like Dallas and Lonnie’s Incredible Road Trip or (to be even shorter) Drunk in Mexico!
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I’m willing to give you another chance. The rights are still available for the right price. Heck, on the right night you might even get them for nothing more than a pitcher of magaritas. But maybe Max & Carly just wasn’t your kind of material. That’s fair enough. Maybe your style is more suited to fantasy sword-and-sorcery epics than to indie-movie-type road trip stories. Well then, I have great news for you.
My second book will be released sometime soon. Like tomorrow. It is called The Three Towers of Afranor and would not involve any location shoots in Mexico or places that look like Mexico. It is an adventure story about fighting princes, an evil sorcerer, a warrior princess, ruthless brigands, a pirate queen, fearsome monsters and maybe even a certain large fire-breathing creature. There are battles and swashbuckling galore.
Okay, so maybe you will need a special effects budget. Maybe some CGI, depending on how you want to play this. There are hordes of undead. No, really, hordes. Will you cast extras or go digital? You work out the details. Or maybe right about now that two-guys-on-a-road-trip-in-the-desert movie isn’t sounding like such a bad idea to you after all.
Don’t worry. I will make this as easy for you as I can. After the book gets released, watch this space for casting notes. I have some interesting ideas for hot future stars to play some of the characters. Or find your own actors. Cast your friends for all I care. After all, it’s your budget.
In the meantime, as always, you can get the latest and most comprehensive information about the book on my book blog. And you can try following my Twitter feed. Or find me on Goodreads. Oh yeah, and I have a Facebook thing now. And even a Tumblr thing, although I still haven’t quite figured out what to do with that one.
And one more thing. If you can get Emma Thompson to be in the movie, I will absolutely re-write the story and create a character just for her. And I will volunteer to be her personal driver.
-S.L., 10 June 2016
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