Casting about
Did I mention that I have a new book out? Of course, I did, but the real question is: have I mentioned it lately? Correct answer: not lately enough. Because I am mentioning it again.
Since this is a film website, it has become something of a tradition here to treat each new novel in terms of its potential for a screenplay. Maybe Hollywood has not exactly jumped at the chance to make movie versions of my first three novels, but this may be the one that the producers, filmmakers and dealmakers cannot resist. Personally, I think The Curse of Septimus Bridge is particularly cinematic.
Naturally, the whole point of discussing a film adaptation is to allow me to enumerate my dream cast of actors for the project. Not only does this give me the opportunity to delineate the qualities of the various characters, it also allows me to suggest beautiful, talented people that I would enjoy meeting and getting to know in the filmmaking process. Unfortunately, though, that pig Harvey Weinstein has pretty much ruined the whole casting thing. It is now difficult to think of auditioning beautiful, talented people without making it feel somehow creepy. And it does not help that the characters in my book are generally pretty young and nubile.
Despite how uncomfortable this is suddenly becoming, I will endeavor to press ahead in the spirit that the point of this exercise is to recognize some of the acting talent that is out there—as well as to give potential readers of the book an idea of what some of the characters are like. So without further ado, here is my casting call for the movie version of The Curse of Septimus Bridge.
• Lola: As the main character of the story, it is especially important to get this one right. As I wrote her, in my head I kept seeing Scarlett Johansson, and that actor would have been perfect about a decade ago. I am all for creating roles for actors of all ages, but Lola and her friends are in their early twenties and fairly callow. Ideally, the actors would be at least somewhat close to the same age as the characters. In other words, I have the same problem with this book as I do with most of my novels: the characters are mostly so damn young—and it’s hard for someone my age to even think of any actors that age. I hadn’t even realized that Scarlett Johansson wasn’t in her twenties anymore. So I had to fall back on an old trick for finding young actors. I had to look for veterans of the Disney Channel—even though I never watch it anymore because I no longer have to. Anyway, so based on my exhaustive five-minute research, my suggestions for Lola are either Haley Lu Richardson (lately of Support for the Girls and Five Feet Apart) or Zoey Deutch (Rebel in the Rye and The Year of Spectacular Men).
• Maria: What actor could possibly do a credible job of playing a young Irish woman? Only one name comes to mind. The only question is would Saoirse Ronan possibly be able to fit this into her busy schedule? And would the Bronx-born actor with the strong Dublin accent inherited from her father be able to convince us she is from Cork? I kid. Ronan can obviously affect any accent she puts her mind to. Amazingly, other options are also available. Sarah Bolger and Eve Hewson (daughter of U2’s Bono) come to mind.
• Kyle: Ah, yes, sweet hunky Kyle, the Californian-to-Seattle transplant who is somewhat slow on the uptake. Given my choices for Lola, an obvious candidate would be those two women’s erstwhile co-star Blake Jenner, who has played such roles before. Other possibilities that might work: Nick Robinson (who actually is from Seattle) and Ansel Elgort.
• Septimus: Let us by no means forget the title character. This one is tricky, as his age is somewhat, um, fluid. Benedict Cumberbatch would be dream casting if only because, well, he is dream casting for pretty much anything. He or fellow Brits like Jude Law or Christian Bale would definitely bring the necessary force of personality and arrogance. Yet I think something more is required, something, well, more Poldark-like. That’s it! How about Ireland’s own Aidan Turner?
• Judith: And who to play the fearsome mistress of Bridge House? One name springs to mind, but that is because her name always springs to mind. Yes, Emma Thompson could certainly play her, although it would be a waste of her talents. Much as I would like to meet Ms. Thompson on the set (but not in a creepy way!), it would actually be better to have an even more mature grande dame of the British stage and screen. Someone like Helen Mirren or even Maggie Smith. But you know who my real dream choice is? At 83 and having wasted precious years sitting in the back benches of UK Parliament, the glorious Glenda Jackson has lately returned to the stage to play King Lear. Surely, she can also make time for the Septimus movie.
Izanami and Koschei? Celina Jade and Vasiliy Stepanov certainly each look the part.
• Izanami: Who to play this ageless but youthful-appearing warrior? I confess, as I was writing her, images of Lucy Liu in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies kept flashing through my head. At 50, Ms. Liu may understandably not be interested, so I managed to come up with alternatives. Tokyo-born Sonoya Mizuno (Ex Machina, Crazy Rich Asians) would certainly be up to it. Chantal Thuy (of the CW series Black Lightning) would also be a good fit and, like the character, she is actually Canadian. My personal first choice, though, would be the mesmerizing Celina Jade, who played a similar role in the CW’s Arrow as well as starring in the enchanting romantic mystery April Flowers.
• Koschei: That leaves Izanami’s comely Russian comrade. Truth be told, the image I had in my head when writing him was Alexander Godunov as he appeared in Die Hard—if not necessarily with that character’s personality or moral compass. But definitely with his lustrous, long, straight blond hair. Sadly, the Russian actor is not available to take the role, having passed away too young at 45 in 1995. I have but one alternate choice: Vasiliy Stepanov. His one major role was in the 2009 Russian movie Dark Planet: Rebellion. As far as I can tell, he has not appeared on screen since 2012, but if he’s still working, he definitely has a job waiting for him. Check out the accompanying outtake of him or, if you have the time and inclination, do a web search for more photos of him. Then try to tell me he is not Koschei.
Okay, so I have now done my part. Hollywood, it’s now up to you. You know where to find me. Have your people talk to my people—or better yet just talk to me since I am my own people. We can do lunch. Let’s work out a deal. Trust me. I’m easy. I’m not a prima donna with outrageous demands. Let’s get this project green-lit.
Oh yeah, and I want my own big, comfortable, air-conditioned trailer on the set with someone to mix martinis for me every evening.
-S.L., 9 August 2019
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